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i`ve been thinking about what 'you' said to me, "i really do understand that you`re human and that you can`t do everything at once."... then i thought about our conversations the past couple of days...
if you say what you mean, and mean what you say... why is it that when i put everything you told me together, that it sounds like QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM?!
when you`re happy, the things you say leave me smiling. when you`re upset, the things you say make me want to hate myself too.
but then again, you lecture me. you worry for me. you attack me. you defend me. you love me. you probably secretly hate me too.
sometimes you`re the closest person i have. sometimes i feel like i don`t really know who you are. yes of course i love you too-
but we think differently. my definition of love might be the complete opposite of what you believe it is.
i was told that the more you argue with someone, the closer you are with them.... that`s not so true, is it? if we were to feel closer and have a stronger "bond" between us after each arguement, why do i feel like being left alone?
if you really do understand that i`m human and that i can`t do everything at once, why pressure me?
why try to persuade me?
why try to change me?
if you really understand, then why wont you leave me alone instead of constantly asking the same questions over and over again?
...
did you lie?
you question my trust and if i`m telling you the truth, but i can only assure you with frank words.
it`s the only proof i have and it should be the only evidence you need.
yet, how do i know if you`re questioning me only because you are hiding something?
even a couple weeks ago, things were fine. we were happy. you taught me new things about you. and i learned. we grew. everything was great, but as soon as little "complications" arose, things between us shattered.
i really just wish that life was the way it used to be...