Lately, I'm consumed with thoughts and emotions I can't control. Maybe it's puberty, but I'm not on my period; if you wanted to know. But, I've been in bed more often: sleeping more, resting more, giving up. And with that, I dream a lot more too, and remember a couple of them.There's optimism and emancipation, which to me are on different ends of the planet. And I don't know where I am, but my boat's floating in between.
The mirror disappoints and my eyes get consumed by what I'm not, which isn't normal for me at all. I've been putting on a treacherous guise for the past couple of days, and I'm beginning to wonder if I know who I am anymore.
Not because I'm at loss of words, but because I'm muddled, my speech shortens. I can't tell the difference from right or wrong, especially at home.
I get eaten by rage A LOT, but it subsides shortly after.
I'll admit, I've become very paranoid... about relationships. It's not even a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of break-up that leaves me in fear, it's friends & family too. Sometimes I worry that I'll end up losing everyone in my present life in this town, just like how I lost everyone in my past. History can and does repeat itself.
Restlessly, I've been telling people how much I missed them and love them, and how significant they are in my life, but I don't feel any relaxed after my confessions.
I drew a heart, and on it, I wrote two names then ripped it up.
Fact Of The Day: I don't know, it's just me.