You need to understand that there is only a fine line between reality and your dreams. You want something to happen, and you wish and hope and pray that what you see in your head is what you want to feel- but I know what you don't know. You can't always get what you want. You're not spoiled, nor are you a waste of a person, but you believing and advocating for it won't mean it lies in your future.
You've got to fight. Push back. But some things are just not meant to be. I'm sorry.