Even before I try, I quit. I resign, I give up- I surrender. The truth of the matter is, I'm scared of what could happen. "I hate actions and reactions." Since this, life, is a gamble, a winner never wins. That's how the ignorant becomes the victim. He believes he could win more than what he started with. And so, he rolls the dice again. He plays another round. He orders another drink, because maybe, being drunk lowers his level of logic and boots his luck.
I can't be who I'm not, which is why my pride sticks to my guts. In any event, situation, and circumstance, I was and never will be the lucky one. To be risky was an aberration. I was the practical, until you came along. With you, I was the gifted, the "by chance," and given the benefit of the doubt.
When things took a turn for the worse, I put more money down. I rolled the dice once more. I tried to win everything I lost and hopefully gain more. Thing is, gambling doesn't work that way. I was too blind sighted. Who knew the outcome? The dealer, the spectators, the ones cashing in their chips.I could win the first round, but the next round will never be premeditated.
I'm hiking to understand the self.
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